Extraordinary Love

I am so very thankful for my life. My husband, children, grandchildren, family and friends are amazing blessings to me. There is great joy in our times together.

However, life does not always feel like a celebration. But, I have found that it is in those most difficult moments that we experience things we can nowhere else and when people dare to accompany us through those times, we experience the extraordinary love of God. 

This has been an incredibly difficult season of life for our family. I shared with you in my last post about the loss of a dear friend and the father of my daughter-in-law. In addition, over the course of the last month, our two year old granddaughter broke her arm, our five year old grandson had a suspicious mole on his head requiring plastic surgery, everyone got the stomach flu, and the most recent, my husband’s unexpected surgery to remove an intestinal blockage discovered a reoccurrence of cancer. He now has a regiment of chemo before him. It’s felt much like the story of Job. 

Last week, as I sat in the hospital room with a friend who was visiting my husband, and I listened closely as he shared about the joys of his holiday season, his words pierced my heart and I began to ask myself “why”.  Why was life so wonderful for others while our family was experiencing so much hardship? 

A dark cloud began to cover my heart following that time. I found myself angry inside, wanting to lash out but keeping it hidden. Where was God through all of this? Did He see what we were going through? Did He even care? 

Then, I remembered…I began to reflect on the beautiful expressions of love I had experienced over the last few weeks. I remembered the many phone calls, texts, visits, meals, pastors bringing communion and prayers on our behalf. I remembered our older son spending two nights in the hospital with my husband so I could recover from the stomach flu at home. I reflected on our dear daughter-in-law carrying the full responsibility of their four children so our son could be freed up for us. I remembered my sister spending nights at my house to care for me, providing ginger ale and soda crackers. I remembered my brother and brother-in-law who spent two entire days with my husband, just watching over him while I couldn’t. I remembered my younger son leaving his demanding work schedule out-of-state to be present here at home. This speaks love to me and I will never forget the kindnesses expressed. 

Last week is behind, thank goodness, and this week has been much better. My husband is recovering quickly from the surgery and is at home. My granddaughter’s arm has healed, the mole on my grandson’s head is benign, and the stomach issues are gone. When I think about all we have endured, I am thankful. I am thankful for the extraordinary love that I have experienced. 

And though there will be several months of chemo ahead for my husband, we go forth with hope knowing that God sees us and will respond with His extraordinary love.

I am certain that there are many of you who are struggling to see goodness in your life today. Life can be so difficult sometimes and we can’t do it alone. Identify those people in your life who care about you and are willing to help carry your burden…do it together. 

May you experience the fullness of God’s love today and always. 

Blessings,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

Love Changes Everything … Especially in Loss

Suffering loss is difficult any time of year, but when it is at Christmastime, it brings a deeper meaning to the season.  

I had the privilege of attending a beautiful memorial service three days after Christmas. My daughter-in-law’s father died on the 22nd after several months of failing health. Our families have been friends for more than two decades so the loss was real and painful for our family. 

In the midst of loss and sorrow, God showed up to honor a life that had been released to Him. 

Many came to the service to pay their respects. The church was filled to overflowing with family and friends who loved him and shared the family’s grief. The church pews were filled and the tremendous parking lot could not accommodate all of the cars.

When you entered the sanctuary of the church, you encountered an 80+ pound bull dog laying near the back of the church. No one knew who he belonged to but he acted as if he had been invited because he wandered throughout the sanctuary during the service. It brought some humor to the grieving crowd. *

The church, still decorated for Christmas, added a peaceful backdrop for what was to be one of the most amazing memorial services I had ever attended. 

When the service began, the crowd immediately was reduced to tears by the beautiful music. The vocalist melted hearts with her song, her guitar accompanying in the background. Beside me sat two of my three grandsons whose sobs could be heard throughout the church. Hearts were broken by the loss. Our youngest grandson was so upset he moved to sit with his mom in front of me. My middle grandson who had been sitting with his mother, moved back with me and climbed into my lap, staying there for the remainder of the service. My eldest grandson sat between his aunt and me, leaning back and forth between us for comfort, sobbing silently. 

They missed their Pop and so did everyone else. His stature and personality made him bigger than life and his passing left a gaping hole in the lives of family and friends. 

My daughter- in-law, her brother and brother-in-law individually stood bravely before the crowd sharing stories of their sweetest moments with their father and father-in-law. He loved to laugh and the stories reminded us of his sense of humor and caring approach to life. It became a celebration of a life well lived. He would have wanted it to be that way. 

I watched the face of his bride of forty years as she sat in front of me. She deeply grieved her loss but the stories brought a smile as she remembered. 

Then, just before the message, the huge bulldog wandered to the front of the church, passed the altar and walked to the back again. It was good to laugh. 

My husband officiated the memorial service. His words gave the congregation freedom; freedom to grieve, but also to have hope.

“We press into the grief and give it its full due. It’s part of being human; it is as much a part of how God created us as anything else….We will not “get over” his loss. But, we will learn to live with it. We will heal and rebuild ourselves around the loss we have suffered. We will be whole again, but we will never be the same. “

So we live with hope. The legacy that was left behind by Pop will leave a lasting impression on family and friends, forever. He will not be forgotten because his legacy lives on in the people left behind. 

That’s what love does. Love changes us. 

Rest In Peace, Will. 

*We found out at the end of the day that the dog who wandered the service and reception did in fact belong to someone in attendance.

Stories Changing Lives

Tis the Season

Merry Christmas! 

The Christmas season is a beautiful time of year. The lights, the singing, the celebrations and memories of the past, give us a new sense of thankfulness and joy. We have a greater awareness of God and His love for us.

And yet, at the very same time, there are those who are struggling under the weight of hardship, sickness, and loss. It can be difficult to experience the joy of the season when you are feeling crushed by circumstances. Some are burdened and many feel lost and alone. Their season is not so joyful

But, in the midst of it all “God came down.” God entered the world to not only show us His love, but to show us how to love one another. 

During this season of joy, remember those whose lives are filled with challenges and respond with love. Sometimes loving others requires surrender; a surrender of time and material possessions.

This season, find special ways to brighten the lives of others. Be the Presence of the Holy One.

Peace to you,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

The Imprint

An incredible canvas stretches across the world. 

Vibrant colors and textures reflect the beauty of every being. 

All different but each carrying a light within. 

The imprint of the Creator. 

Stories Changing Lives

Through His Eyes

Not everyone grows up having an artist for a father. My dad was a brilliant and exceptionally talented man. During the day, he used his talent to produce commercial art, but outside of those hours, he would create amazing masterpieces. Each masterpiece was done with intention to communicate something special from deep within his heart. He painted with passion using oils, acrylic and watercolor paints, and sketched with pencil and charcoal. Every piece was unique and a reflection of his love for the world around him. 

I imagine God’s creation of our world to be very similar. From a colorful palette, every living being was intentionally created, all unique and beautiful. Out of the depths of His heart a collection of masterpieces was created by His hand.

This week, take time to recognize the beauty of creation. Value the amazing diversity of the world around you. Everything was intentionally created with love. 

Stories Changing Lives!

Love’s Reach

Love reaches through the trees of my life and warms my heart.

I am stilled by the power of Your Presence.

My eyes close to rest and I behold Your greatness.

You have captured me by Your love and I am at peace.

Stories Changing Lives

The Pledge

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,

and to the republic for which it stands,

one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”

The pledge to the flag was probably one of the earliest passages I memorized in grade school. I had no idea of the meaning of it in my early years, but it was part of the morning ritual, along with the announcements, so I recited it with everyone else.    

Originally written by Francis Bellamy, a socialist Baptist minister, in August 1892, the pledge was created to be used by any country. Bellamy believed in the “absolute separation of church and state,” so the original form of the pledge was as follows: 

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The pledge has gone through two additional modifications through the years. The “United States of America” was added in 1923. In response to the  threat of war with the Communists in 1954, President Eisenhower requested that Congress add the words “under God”.  This has become the pledge that we recite today.

I love this country, and as I read through this very short passage that was intended to symbolize America, I have so many questions. Does this pledge truly represent what I have witnessed over my lifetime? Do we live as though we are “one nation under God?” Are we “indivisible”… living in unity? Are people actually free to live without oppressive restrictions… in “liberty”? Are people really being treated fairly… and “justice for all”? 

Let’s live in a way that makes the pledge a reality.

Stories Changing Lives

The Invitation

Listening well

I spend a great deal of my time listening to people and sometimes, I am a really good listener. If I concentrate, I can simply listen and wait for the person to complete their thoughts before I respond. But… I don’t always. I can resist the urge to interject a word of encouragement or a solution. But… I don’t always do that either. It’s difficult to hear of someone’s pain and not offer a word, hoping that your similar life experience might be encouraging to them. Sometimes people need that kind of encouragement. Other times, people just want to be heard, to verbally process, to evaluate their situation out loud with someone. They just want someone to listen. People are encouraged when you care to spend time with them. You don’t always have to have all the answers. 

This can be especially true with grown children. As parents, our desire to swoop in and fix the situation is a huge challenge, no matter how large or small the issue. After all, we did that constantly when they were young. We mentally take out the “bandaids and ointment” hoping to bring healing to their affliction, when all they wanted was to share and have you listen…not to offer a solution. 

I am definitely not perfect at this… but I do find that more than not, when people share with me, I try to ask more questions than offer suggestions. “What can I do to help?” 

This week, as you spend time with others, give the gift of listening. Ask questions. Wait for the invitation to speak into a life…it is a gift when given without expectation.  

Stories Changing Lives! 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Assumptions

My husband and I have had the distinct pleasure of raising two sons. They are 16 ½ months apart in age, and though their little personalities were distinctly different, we assumed that their interests would be similar. So, when they were young, we enrolled them in activities we believed every little boy loved; baseball, basketball, and gymnastics. 

For a while, they seemed like they both loved what they were involved in because they always went along happily. We thought that their different approaches to activities was just reflective of their personalities. But, there were signals along the way that revealed that our very unique children could possibly have different interests. Our older son was quite the athlete and took sports very seriously, even at a young age. Our younger son, though he was very coordinated and even exceptional at gymnastics, had a different approach to sports. He would sit in the outfield and lace wild flowers through his baseball glove. When I would call to him to “get in the game, Jer”, he would smile with delight, wave his glove, and stand up in the field. Flowers still laced.

The light went on one day when my husband related a conversation he had with a friend on a business trip who was sharing stories about his twins. He spoke about their differences, different interests, and how he and his wife offered diverse opportunities to help them identify their curiosities. We really were very attentive parents and realized at that moment that we had lived under the assumption that our two very different little boys would like the same things. Fortunately, they were still very young, ages four and five, so we didn’t totally miss the boat on parenting. We started to expose them to an array of experiences in hopes that it would reveal a special interest or talent…and it did. As we studied our sons’ curiosities and talents, we discovered that they did have a few similar interests in common, as well as some very different ones. From that moment on, our boys did not just play sports. The arts became much more a part of our lives and our children thrived.

We can have a lot of assumptions about people…even our own children that are the closest to us. Take time to listen to someone’s heart this week. You may be surprised by what you learn about them.  

Stories changing lives!