I had the distinct privilege of being married to my husband, Jim, for 43 years. August 13th would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.
To say that our life together was a beautiful love story doesn’t even begin to reflect how extraordinary it was. Filled with joys and heartbreak, we celebrated life and weathered the storms… together. Faith was an integral part of our story. Without it, we could have easily been conquered by the intensity of the waves of life but we weren’t. Life was a celebration.
Many of you don’t know that Jim was a nuclear submarine officer for a time. For the first part of our courtship and marriage we spent many months apart. That was a real challenge. I did not see him for the four months prior to our wedding day because he was deployed. He came back on the scene five days before we were to be married. That was terrifying for me because we always needed an adjustment period to get reacquainted after his absence. I got cold feet and almost didn’t marry him. That would have been the biggest mistake of my life. We laughed about it years later but at the time it was traumatizing.
We had three beautiful children. Two were born when Jim was in law school. The first child, Jessica, was born still. We never had the joy of raising her, seeing her smile, or hearing her sweet laughter. We were devastated when we lost her but God carried us, along with many family members and friends as we weathered that tumultuous storm.
Five months before Jim graduated from law school, we had our adorable son, Jamey. He was the greatest of all gifts. We couldn’t have been more thankful. Our life felt complete.
Then when Jamey was ten months old, we learned that we were expecting another baby. Imagine our surprise to find that I was already three months pregnant. We were shocked and very excited all at the same time.
My pregnancy with Jeremy was very challenging. We had RH incompatibility and the baby’s health needed to be monitored very closely. I felt like a pin cushion from the number of amniocenteses that I had to endure. Jeremy arrived safely but his anemia required that he have a blood transfusion when he was two weeks old. After that, all was well. I am so very thankful to God for His healing power and blessing on our family with Jeremy.
We had many wonderful years together as a family. The memories of our times away are especially vivid; beach vacations in Stone Harbor, Europe, the Caribbean, Canada and throughout the US. Times together, such as these, built a strong foundation that helped us to endure the challenges of life as they arrived.
When our son Jeremy came out as gay, God used Jim’s amazing capacity to love to instill hope in our family. His beautiful example sealed a legacy of love in us.
But, the greatest challenge our family had to face was Jim’s cancer. Over five years, we watched him fight that terrible disease valiantly. If effort alone was the secret, Jim would still be here today. He was my hero.
I was certain that God was going to heal him. Not in the way he did. I expected complete physical healing to occur for his physical body. God chose to heal Jim in a eternal way and though I was thankful that he was no longer suffering, I was heartbroken and extremely angry that God didn’t do otherwise; heal him for this earth…For our family.
God has handled my disappointment with His decision very well and slowly but surely, He is restoring my faith in Him, one day at a time.
So though we have been met with many challenges, the joys outshine them all. To say we were exceedingly blessed doesn’t even come close to describing the beauty of our life. I am so thankful for our many years together. Jim, you built a legacy of love that will live on in your absence forever.
With love,
Carol Marchant Gibbs
Stories Changing Lives