I spend a great deal of my time listening to people and sometimes, I am a really good listener. If I concentrate, I can simply listen and wait for the person to complete their thoughts before I respond. But… I don’t always. I can resist the urge to interject a word of encouragement or a solution. But… I don’t always do that either. It’s difficult to hear of someone’s pain and not offer a word, hoping that your similar life experience might be encouraging to them. Sometimes people need that kind of encouragement. Other times, people just want to be heard, to verbally process, to evaluate their situation out loud with someone. They just want someone to listen. People are encouraged when you care to spend time with them. You don’t always have to have all the answers.
This can be especially true with grown children. As parents, our desire to swoop in and fix the situation is a huge challenge, no matter how large or small the issue. After all, we did that constantly when they were young. We mentally take out the “bandaids and ointment” hoping to bring healing to their affliction, when all they wanted was to share and have you listen…not to offer a solution.
I am definitely not perfect at this… but I do find that more than not, when people share with me, I try to ask more questions than offer suggestions. “What can I do to help?”
This week, as you spend time with others, give the gift of listening. Ask questions. Wait for the invitation to speak into a life…it is a gift when given without expectation.
Stories Changing Lives!
Carol Marchant Gibbs