Author: Carol Gibbs

Three days after my husband died, my older son’s family started with the coronavirus. One by one, the six of them were afflicted over a three week period. It was painful for our family to not be together to mourn. 

Finally, after an additional two weeks, my son’s entire family was clear and able to come to my house together. It was glorious. I made chocolate chip cookies beforehand. We had lunch together. Then, we engaged in wonderful conversation while the kids played with my five month old puppy, Bailey. It was a beautiful day. 

Then…my three year old granddaughter asked the question … “Where’s Grampa?”

She had not been to our house since he died because she was the last to get the coronavirus. Each of us froze on hearing her question. 

My daughter-in-law calmly spoke, “He’s not here.”

The questioning continued, “Where is he?”

“Grampa is in heaven.” She explained. 

My granddaughter, who had just turned three, seemed satisfied with the answer and continued to play. 

My eyes filled with tears that flooded down into my mask. The reality of the loss was excruciating.

Grief is difficult and unavoidable. Sometimes it just comes out of the blue with an innocent question, a thought, a photo, or a memory. In those moments, give yourself the freedom to embrace all that you are feeling. I am. One day, each tear will be replaced by a beautiful memory. 

Blessings,

Carol Marchant Gibbs
Stories Changing Lives

The human body is an incredible creation. Did you know that tears have an amazing ability to heal the body? The eye produces three types of tears, each made up of different chemicals that have different healing abilities.

Basal tears are those that continuously moisten our eyes. We usually do not notice this amazing function unless there is a malfunction and our eyes dry out. 

Reflex tears happen when your eye is assaulted by something. The eye tears to rid itself of foreign objects; a bug for instance. 

Then, there are emotional tears. Did you ever wonder why you feel so much better after a good cry? Traces of stress chemicals have been found in emotional tears that when released, actually relieve the body of stress. Crying can also cause the body to produce endorphins that actually make you feel better.

The past year has been so very difficult for most of us. It’s comforting to know that through our tears our body is serving to heal us. Give yourself permission to cry. Be healed.

Blessings,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories changing lives.  

How do you find the joy of the season in the midst of heartache and loss? 

For those of you that know our family well, you are aware that last year, my doughtier-in-law lost her father three days before Christmas. It was heartbreaking.

This year, my dear husband died twelve days before Christmas leaving our family devastated. It was just too much.

A few days following my husband’s passing, my older son’s family contracted the coronavirus, forcing our family to be apart in our grief. 

Our younger son and his husband were in town for an extended stay and had been vaccinated against Covid so I was able to be together with them. Thank goodness! 

Christmas, the season we had loved so dearly through the years, suddenly became a season of grief. It was hard to celebrate the joy and I found myself mostly going through the motions of the season. But, despite the grief, joy managed to find its way into many of the moments.

Since the coronavirus prevented all of us from gathering in person, my sons, daughter-in-law and son-in-law creatively planned a remote Christmas. Gifts were dropped off at my older son’s house a few days early and we did a gift exchange by Skype on Christmas day. Presents were opened and the children’s joy and delight warmed our hearts. In my husband’s memory, our younger son had made plans with my husband prior to his passing, to continue his gadget tradition. They had picked out fishing rod marshmallow roasters for the grandchildren. The kids were thrilled with their gift from Grampa and Uncle Jer. 

My daughter-in-law suggested we order the same dinner from a local restaurant and though we were unable to eat together, we shared the same meal. 

And… It was tremendous fun playing video games remotely with sons and grandsons off and on throughout the day. 

We were all together…at a distance. 

Later that afternoon, my younger son, son-in-law and I watched a new movie that was released on HBO+, Wonder Woman, because the pandemic had affected the film industry as well. 

Then, more video games with our older son’s family filled the evening. 

A silent cloud of grief hung over our Christmas this year. My husband has and will be very missed. I will miss his sweet smile, his tenderness and the gentleness of his spirit. I will miss his great sense of humor and his dancing around the kitchen in his “Grampa” apron as he cooks. I will miss playing cards and scrabble together. I will miss watching him interact with our adult children and grandchildren. And at the end of the day, I will miss his “Goodnight, love.” and his hand in mine.  

Christmas was very difficult but it was also filled with some beautiful moments, as well. I am certain that Christmases going forward will continue to be hard. I pray that in time, the wonderful memories of my husband will replace the grief and joy will be victorious. 

Blessings to you,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

What if the world is not the true reality of life. 
What if it is only a preparation for what is to come, a training ground for what is real. 
We are learning to be kind, to selflessly give, and to see the best in others.
We are learning to celebrate our differences, gifts and talents, to embrace diversity. 
We are learning to love our neighbor as ourselves. 

I lost my dear husband of 43 years this week. I have never thought of heaven more than I have during this time. He lived his life in preparation for heaven. He loved selflessly and unconditionally. He put the needs of others before his own. I want to be more like him. 
For the rest of my life I will be asking myself “What would Jim do?” because he was the closest person to living like Jesus that I have ever known. I want to emulate the way he loved. I want to be ready to see him again. 
Rest In Peace, my love. Until we meet again. 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

In loving memory of James David Gibbs

The season of Advent encompasses the four weeks prior to Christmas. A wreath with five candles is often used to focus us on a different aspect of the season each week; hope, faith, joy, peace, followed by the birth of Jesus.

But, how do we celebrate the season considering all we have experienced this year? This has been a very rough year for many of us. People have lost loved ones, jobs, and are struggling through schooling at home. For me, I have watched my dear husband courageously battle a serious cancer diagnosis. It has been heartbreaking.  

It would be very tempting to ignore Christmas all together; the shopping for presents, the decorations, the Christmas cards, and the gatherings. The pandemic has already robbed us of much of the celebrating. But… Christmas will still arrive without all of those things. This year more than ever before, I am aware of the need to embrace the heart of the season. In the brokenness, we need hope, faith, joy and peace. We need Jesus. 

I pray that hope, faith, joy and peace would  be yours this season.  

Have a blessed holiday. 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Over the last few years, we have seen…

Division ravage our country.

Civil unrest.

Pandemic deaths occur that could have been prevented. 

Children and their parents caged for seeking refuge.

The unemployment rate escalate. 

And our international allies alienated. 

How much worse does it have to get for a change to occur?

May God have mercy.

Seeking unity,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

It is interesting how a desperation for a sense of normalcy has led many people to do things that they might ordinarily not consider. We have been forced to expand our thinking and be more creative. 

It was heartbreaking to have to cancel our annual beach vacation to the Jersey shore with our children and grandchildren this summer. In response to the situation, my husband and I decided to try to find a place where we could safely travel this fall. Our younger son and his husband were unable to join us because of the academic calendar, they are on the faculty at a large university, but we decided to go forward. 

With my husband’s immune system compromised because of his chemotherapy, we were limited in our travel choices. We searched for a place that was secluded, not too far a drive, and one that would capture the attention of our older son’s family. Our four grandchildren are ages 10, 7, 6 and 2. What we discovered became the trip of a lifetime. 

Avondale Hills Farm was the perfect getaway!! From the beautiful decorated stone home equipped with a pool, hot tub, and theatre room, to the farm animals; cows, chickens, bunnies, goats, dogs, and a baby pig named Wilby. We were mesmerized by this incredible place. It quickly became the highlight of all of our travels. According to our grandchildren, “This was the best vacation ever.” 

But it wasn’t just the serene setting that captured us, the farmers were wonderful. Farmer Aaron offered interesting details about the animals and allowed our grandchildren to interact with some of them. They loved every minute. Our 7 year old grandson adored the baby pig, Wilby, who was in a pen directly outside our front door. He wants to be a farmer now and when it was time to go home, he sobbed.

So, what we believed to be a limitation to our travel, actually became an amazing adventure to which we will definitely return. 

I know that many of you are finding ways to adjust to the new normal. I have seen more new puppies around than I ever remember seeing. And yes… we too succumbed to the insanity. After fifteen years of being a dog free household, we adopted a 10-week old puppy the day after we returned from the farm. (It was planned ahead of time, by the way.) 

Life may be taking you into unfamiliar territory right now.  Allow yourself the freedom to think differently. There are treasures to be found around every corner. May your new normal be filled with beautiful moments. 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

For many years, I did not understand the LGBTQ community because I really didn’t know anyone who was gay. Our family lived in a “church world” that quietly denounced the gay community. 

Ironically, after college, our younger son came out. My husband and I struggled to understand, praying and pouring through scripture and this is what God taught us: Love is Love. Whether it is God’s love for each of us, our love for Him or our love for each other, love is the most important part of life. How we love others is what really matters, not who we love. 

I know that many of you have not walked in my same shoes, or even beside someone who is gay. Your heart will be changed if you do. But don’t take my word for it, get to know someone from the LGBTQ community. Love is Love.

Blessings,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

If you have felt like you have been living in the belly of a whale, like Jonah, for the past six months, I feel your pain. Life has been difficult. The pandemic has lasted far longer than anyone ever predicted. We have been distanced from and some have even lost loved ones. It is heartbreaking. 

Isolation can be especially difficult. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my husband has been going through chemotherapy during these months so we have had to be very careful to protect his compromised immune system. We have distanced ourselves from almost everyone. 

It’s a challenge to be distanced from family. Our younger son and his husband live down south in an area that is very lax about the pandemic. He has entered the third phase trial for a vaccine in hopes that he would be inoculated from the virus and able to come visit. His husband is trying to get into a trial, as well. They are doing everything they can to protect their health; masks and social distancing. 

Our older son and his family live nearby with our four adorable grandchildren. We have, over the last six weeks, begun to relax our distancing protocol because it is life giving to be near them. We wear masks and spend most of our time outside but we also give hugs. We need that. When we come home, we change our clothes and sanitize to the elbows. So far, that is working for us but we know that they too are being careful. 

We do, however, continue to be distanced from everyone else. When we see our extended families and friends, we are always outdoors, wearing masks and remaining at a distance. For now, that will have to suffice because we love them. 

A vaccine cannot come too soon. As the holidays quickly approach, I pray that we will be able to hug our loved ones again. Until then, we love them more by staying distant. 

Remember, Jonah didn’t stay in the belly of the whale forever. Hang in there, my friends.

Blessings

Carol Marchant Gibbs

By Erich Becker

  Rayshard Brooks … Elijah McClain … Amy Cooper … David McAtee 

  Breonna Taylor … Ariana McCree … George Floyd … Ahmaud Arbery  

Incidents of injustice … betrayals of confidence 

externalized prejudice … and senseless violence

As we witness new outbreaks of racial unrest,

we march our moral outrage in anguished protest,

and we rally in community with tears of lament.

An alarm bell is ringing … will we wake and repent?

*

Change is only conceived now in these moments we share,

but it will be miscarried unless an impassioned few dare

to turn moments into momentum, to keep speaking out,

risking danger and censure, pushing through every doubt,

sounding long enough, loud enough in every context

to ensure that this moment’s not silenced by the next.

*

True change begins in a person’s heart and soul –

in worldviews and prejudices now centuries old.

Only then can lasting change be nurtured, given birth

in every system everywhere which ignores the inherent worth

of each person, every color, not just the white one,

and those in power acknowledge: Everyone is Someone.

*

Only power can effect any change that will last –

just ask the numberless unheard voices from our past.

Whites with courageous conviction need to speak from inside,

to become allies, to reach out from their side of the divide

and on behalf of the powerless-many set all things right:

justice and righteousness for every color, not just white.

*

Today’s awakenings are hopeful, but we’ve a long way to go, 

and our sisters of every color will tell us what they know:

culture-shaking change takes ongoing noise and protest,

so let’s delay our rejoicing and continue a full-on press.

The next moment is coming. We can’t celebrate yet.

Today we keep fighting so tomorrow’s we won’t forget.

*

Racism and discrimination, and privilege and fear,

and ignorance and prejudice … they have no place here.

The profiling and reviling and defiling must cease,

until all know equality and dignity and peace.

Justice must be the experience of each and every one

because Everyone is Someone … Everyone … Someone.

*

Stories Changing Lives