Author: Carol Gibbs

I have learned over the last few years that everyone has experienced loss and carries their own kind of grief. It may be the loss of a loved one, a severed relationship, the pain of living with rejection or even physical pain. It’s part of living in this world.

Sadly, we are often unaware of people’s struggles because their pain is hidden behind a facade. We can appear fine on the outside but in reality are broken-hearted.

I once had a friend tell me that after his wife died he did what he thought was acceptable to the church. He attempted to appear faithful and strong when in fact he was understandably devastated inside. 

Why do we feel the need to conceal our deepest pain? Why does strength equate to suppressing emotion? Even “Jesus wept.”

May God give us the courage to live our authentic selves, facing our pain and may He provide people along the way to accompany us on journey.

Living with hope, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

When I think about the things that matter most, my mind is flooded with thoughts of children, grandchildren, my family, friends new and old and my dog, Bailey. The sweet moments, the memories, the hugs and the laughter,  all of this makes life worth living.

And yet, it is too easy to allow the challenges of life to blur our vision, to steal our ability to see clearly, to steal our joy. Life can be very difficult, I know that well, but there is another way.

I pray for each of us during this special season and thereafter that we would have the ability to see the amazing blessings around us. May God give us 20/20 vision and help us to see through His eyes… and may we be thankful. 

Seeing clearly, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

Life is an amazing adventure filled with many twists and turns. Our experiences, the decisions we make and the people we meet all contribute to who we are. 

As a spiritual person, I would add that I believe that we are being released into who we were created to be. We are growing into that person that only a lifetime of learning can bring forth. 

I had a wonderful conversation with someone very close to me, who was questioning some of the decisions I had made in my life. After my husband died, I was forced to make decisions I had never made prior. To the outsider, those decisions may have appeared unwise but to me, they were valuable steps forward.

I am learning to view each new experience as a stepping stone that is contributing to who I am. Each new moment, each interaction with people has brought forth more of my authentic self. 

When I reflect back over my life and ask if there were moments I would like to have responded to differently, the answer is “absolutely.” But, because of those choices, I have grown and been released to be more of who I was created to be. 

I used to look at life as a series of goals to be achieved. Today, I follow my path, learning what I need to learn, embracing the journey along the way, one step at a time. 

Living with contentment,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Have you ever gotten to the end of your day wondering what you actually accomplished? Your day was jam packed with frenzied activity and yet the significance of it all escapes you.

This has happened to me many times over the years. I, too often, can get lost in the minute details of life totally missing the big picture. What is my purpose in this life and am I making strides toward that goal?

A very dear friend once told me that we can spend a great deal of time focused on the past and the future, neglecting the present entirely. 

“Live for the present”, she’d say to me. 

I am learning that each moment of my life is a precious gift to be fully experienced. Each past experience helps to define our present. Each present moment builds upon itself to create the future. We are created to embrace the present journey to our ultimate destiny.

But, how do you embrace the path that determines your ultimate destiny?

For me, it’s a spiritual question. 

A very wise man said to me once, “You make your own destiny but you must always follow God’s lead.” I just so happened to be married to that very wise man. 

The future is so uncertain. Fortunately, we need only to figure out the present…one day at a time.

Embracing the journey together,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

To my dear friends who have lost their first love…

I pray that one day you will find love again.
Someone you love so much that you simply cannot resist being in their presence. You are drawn to them, magnetized by their very being. Someone that causes you to respond with reckless abandon.

Don’t be afraid, my friends. Go forward with hope because love is the most powerful force on earth and you will experience the extraordinary. ❤️

Living with hope,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

I had the distinct privilege of being married to my husband, Jim, for 43 years. August 13th would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.

To say that our life together was a beautiful love story doesn’t even begin to reflect how extraordinary it was. Filled with joys and heartbreak, we celebrated life and weathered the storms… together. Faith was an integral part of our story. Without it, we could have easily been conquered by the intensity of the waves  of life but we weren’t. Life was a celebration.

Many of you don’t know that Jim was a nuclear submarine officer for a time. For the first part of our courtship and marriage we spent many months apart. That was a real challenge. I did not see him for the four months prior to our wedding day because he was deployed. He came back on the scene five days before we were to be married. That was terrifying for me because we always needed  an adjustment period to get reacquainted after his absence. I got cold feet and almost didn’t marry him. That would have been the biggest mistake of my life. We laughed about it years later but at the time it was traumatizing.

We had three beautiful children. Two were born when Jim was in law school. The first child, Jessica, was born still. We never had the joy of raising her, seeing her smile, or hearing her sweet laughter. We were devastated when we lost her but God carried us, along with many family members and friends as we weathered that tumultuous storm. 

Five months before Jim graduated from law school, we had our adorable son, Jamey. He was the greatest of all gifts. We couldn’t have been more thankful. Our life felt complete. 

Then when Jamey was ten months old, we learned that we were expecting another baby. Imagine our surprise to find that I was already three months pregnant. We were shocked and very excited all at the same time.

My pregnancy with Jeremy was very challenging. We had RH incompatibility and the baby’s health needed to be monitored very closely. I felt like a pin cushion from the number of amniocenteses that I had to endure. Jeremy arrived safely but his anemia required that he have a blood transfusion when he was two weeks old. After that, all was well. I am so very thankful to God for His healing power and blessing on our family with Jeremy. 

We had many wonderful years together as a family. The memories of our times away are especially vivid;  beach vacations in Stone Harbor, Europe, the Caribbean, Canada and throughout the US. Times together, such as these, built a strong foundation that helped us to endure the challenges of life as they arrived. 

When our son Jeremy came out as gay, God used Jim’s amazing capacity to love to instill hope in our family. His beautiful example sealed a legacy of love in us.

But, the greatest challenge our family had to face was Jim’s cancer. Over five years, we watched him fight that terrible disease valiantly. If effort alone was the secret, Jim would still be here today. He was my hero. 

I was certain that God was going to heal him. Not in the way he did. I expected complete physical healing to occur for his physical body. God chose to heal Jim in a eternal way and though I was thankful that he was no longer suffering, I was heartbroken and extremely angry that God didn’t do otherwise; heal him for this earth…For our family.

God has handled my disappointment with His decision very well and slowly but surely, He is restoring my faith in Him, one day at a time.

So though we have been met with many challenges, the joys outshine them all. To say we were exceedingly blessed doesn’t even come close to describing the beauty of our life. I am so thankful for our many years together. Jim, you built a legacy of love that will live on in your absence forever. 
With love,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

My husband has been gone for a year and a half now and I am finding that each day is beginning to feel less daunting. I am still experiencing the loss but I am learning to fill the emptiness with family, friends and activities. But though I have occupied my time with people, my writing, practicing piano, family vacations and thoughts about more art classes, there is nothing that can fill the void of a loving partner.

The void created by my husband’s loss has been immense but it was not mine alone. Everyone who knew my husband loved him and missed him terribly.  But when the memorial service was over and they began to return to life, I waited to return to my life as well.

I wanted my old life back and was forced to accept the stark reality that my life was changed forever. When I awoke in the morning and reached across to the other side of the bed, he was not present. When I called his name, he did not answer. It was just me in the silence. Attending a party, wedding, a funeral, any life event, was often excruciating. Sure, I could attend with another family member or a friend, and I often do, but the memories of a lifetime together with my absent love reminded me that my life was dramatically different and nothing like what I had planned. 

In addition to the loss itself was the added challenge of bringing everyone along with me as I moved forward. Not everyone was ready for my new life and the navigation of it looked messy. There were growing pains associated with the emergence of this new person I was discovering deep within and there were many things I was learning about life itself.

If I had questions about certain decisions that needed to be made, I learned to ask for advice from someone that I trusted; my adult children, a sibling or a close friend. Counseling also became helpful in navigating my new life.

I also became acutely aware of how the people that I loved wanted and needed to be brought along on the journey. They were grieving, too. They cared about me and needed to know that I was safe and making wise decisions that would propel me forward in a healthy way. I am so thankful for their support.

I have learned an immense amount over the past few months. This was not after having made some huge errors in judgement. But, I am pressing on to live a life that incorporates all that I am learning about myself and people in general. 

And, through it all, I still believe that there is hope. My life has purpose and I can rest assured that life is not over for me yet. I have a lot of living to do!

With hope,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

I was once a very black and white thinker. Everything and everyone had their special place and purpose in my life. This concept made it easy to understand and control the world around me. 

But, over the course of my lifetime, I have been exposed to many inexplicable grays. They have covered my path and caused me to question the attitudes I developed earlier. As I began to understand the gray spectrum more fully, I found that I was no longer capable of seeing black and white. I became intolerant and anything that was outside of the gray spectrum was unacceptable. 

Then one day, I met a black and white thinker that represented the same thoughts I had many years prior. I could have become very frustrated by this person, as I had others in the past, but he taught me a very valuable lesson. It is important to understand that in this one life we have to live, we do not have to think the same way. But…we must always value and respect each other and their right to have a different perspective.

Life is so much fuller when we recognize the value of diversity.

Today, may we seek to understand others in a way that appreciates the full spectrum. 

Living fully,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

When you experience a significant loss in your life, it is like having your house burn down around you. All you see are ashes of your former life. But as time passes and you are able to sort through what is left behind, you begin to see the precious treasures that remain; children, grandchildren, family, friends, and even faith begins to emerge again.  Though life looks completely different, there are remnants of hope that encourage you to press on.

And… we can press on… because we are stronger than we think. 

Rising up together, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories changing lives

A unicorn is a mythical figure that is generally depicted as a white horse having a long flowing mane and tail with a single spiral horn in the middle of its forehead. Unicorns are known for being amazingly beautiful, very rare and quite difficult to catch.

Because unicorns are so mysterious, they are often misunderstood. They are different than the norm and their uniqueness can even be considered threatening at times. Rarely do we even attempt to follow one, or be schooled in their ways, to understand their lives. We are fearful of what appears different and are unsure of how to approach them. We anticipate that our gestures might be offensive and frighten them away so we make no attempt to be near.

In this world of diversity, we are all unicorns, wanting to be approached, wanting to be understood. Take time today to pursue the unicorns in your life. Appreciate the magic of each individual. You may be surprised at what you might find.

Seeking Unicorns,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives