Author: Carol Gibbs

Young children spend an exorbitant  amount of time thinking and talking about what they want to be when they grow up. The rest of the time, they play. They play with friends, at sports, a musical instrument or engage in a number of the  arts. These experiences help to develop them  into more complete human beings. 

I believe that this continues until the reality of life responsibilities sets in. It is at that point that work consumes much of life… with a small amount of time for relationships and very little for anything else. And for most of life, employment occupies much of your time.

But, what happens when that is no longer a reality? It is no wonder that impending retirement can create a great deal of angst for some. 

You begin to ask yourself, “I’m a grown up. Now, what am I going to do?”  

Retirement suddenly affords you an abundance of time with an immense amount of possibilities. This can be overwhelming. How do you decide where to focus your time? Do you spend more time with family? Take a class? Exercise more regularly? Play an instrument? Travel? Join a gardening club? Volunteer? Hike? Write that book you’ve always wanted to write?

I believe that much of the angst of retirement can be eliminated by doing a few simple things. Preparation for that special day begins years prior to the actual event. Just like you prepare financially, preparing socially and emotionally is just as important. Taking time to develop one’s interests, hobbies and relationships makes the transition to a freer lifestyle more appealing. Instead of dreading available time, you appreciate the opportunities to engage more fully in a life you have nurtured all along. 

Many couples make big plans after retirement only to find that their partner becomes ill or passes away. The many plans that you made dissolve before you and you find yourself all alone.

I can speak to this well because I had the pain of losing my husband 2 1/2 years ago. I am comforted by the thought that during our entire life together, though we worked hard, we also took time to play. We recognized the value of time and were intentional in embracing it fully.

Whether you are 35 or 105, life is too short to work it all away. Don’t wake up one day  and find yourself in a sandbox all alone realizing that you’ve forgotten how to play. 

Embrace every single moment of your life! 

Now, what do you want to do when you grow up? 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

It’s interesting how when life is going well, humanly speaking, I can have a tendency to lean less on God and live more into my circumstances. What I have found is that this can work for a while but eventually, I feel the impact of that lack. As I evaluate my life at those moments, I see that life “without” God, can feel meaningless even in the midst of beauty and love. 

As I was pondering this thought a verse came to mind:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that the fullness of life comes from leaning into you. I need you just as much in the wonderful moments of life as I do in the challenges. 

Leaning in, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

One of my greatest struggles in this life is my tendency to worry about the people I love. 

One day, I asked God why…Why do I do battle in my mind with things that may never happen? I heard this:

“Sometimes fear causes us to (attempt to) manipulate the world around us to create that which we believe could be true.”

The unknown can feel unsettling at times so in an attempt to interpret the world around me I can create a scenario that is just not accurate. In other words, much of what I worry about is simply a creation in my mind drawn from limited information.

I am a spiritual person but rather than trust God with my “creation”, I can run ahead of Him preparing my heart for the worst. It is not until God stops me in my tracks and reminds me of His love and vision for my life that I am able to embrace a more realistic view.

In a strange way, I believe that I am protecting my heart from future hurt when I try to control everything around me but in reality it is fruitless. What I have imagined could happen, rarely does. 

During this Lenten season, I offer to God my tendency to worry. I desire to embrace every wonderful moment with joy, tackling the difficult moments when they actually come along.

What will you offer this season?

Living in freedom, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

My dear friends,

Moving forward after a significant loss is a considerable challenge. We are torn between two worlds, life as we knew it and life anew. Below is a repost of something I wrote last year. I hope you find it helpful as you begin your new life.

Nora McInerny, in her podcast “Terrible, Thanks for Asking,” shares her story about significant losses in her life at age thirty-one. In a short period of time, she lost her baby, her father and six weeks later, her husband. Nora was devastated.

People tried to encourage her with empty phrases such as, “You are still young and beautiful and will find someone else,” but it really wasn’t helpful.

Nora did fall in love again. What she found was that falling in love was easy for her but having another person in her life did not take away her grief. Her grief just slid over to make room for another love and that made her feel uncomfortable. She feared the judgement of others but what most surprised her was the judgement she placed upon herself. If she was happy, she was not sad anymore so she must not have really loved her former husband. 

Well-meaning friends commented, that she must be okay now that she has a new husband. She explained that falling in love with another did not mean she had fallen out of love with her deceased husband. Nora found that it was possible to hold two things at once; grief for the lost and joy for the new love. 

I know personally that when you are joyfully married for forty-three years, loss is excruciating. I will always miss my husband and pray unashamedly that one day I will have a new love to whom I can share his memory.

A good friend reminded me one day that my husband is gone but I am still alive. I’m trying to remember that. I can live my life to the fullest while holding his memory close to my heart.

Living with hope,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

A mosaic of lights scatter

across the night sky. 

They sparkle, so softly, a passionate fire

burning deep within. 

Unaltered by other celestial beings,

Their light shines with jubilation for an

audience of one. 

Such is my love for you. 

May your lives be filled with love! ❤️
Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends!

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

I used to believe that I was completely responsible for my destiny.  If I did all the right things, spoke all the right words, served sacrificially, went to church each Sunday, offered up prayers, and had a quiet time every morning that I was destined to receive God’s best. I could make it all happen. I was completely in control of my life. 

What I neglected to realize was that I was attempting to live a “godly life” without God. Sure, I knew all the right things to do and say. My heart was in the right place but I was trying to offer to God what I believed He wanted from me without even asking Him. 

When the unthinkable happens, the death of a loved one or another tragic loss occurs and you are completely depleted of resources, having nothing left to give, you begin to realize that you were never really in control at all. It is in those difficult moments of surrender that God shows up to remind you that He is there. He loves you and desires to bandage your wounds and show you a new way.

This Christmas season, if you are struggling under the burden of grief, feeling lost and alone, may God speak and reveal the depth of His love for you. Allow Him to carry your burdens and lead you into life anew. There is hope in Him.

Living with Hope,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories changing lives 

We are reminded, all around us, that Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year.” Christmas Carols announce the good news of Jesus. Bright lights illuminate the atmosphere. Colorfully decorated packages create anticipation for what’s to come Christmas morning. Our senses are overwhelmed with the beauty of Christmas. 

And yet, for those of us who have suffered the loss of a loved one this time of year, it can be more than challenging to experience Christmas joy. Our senses are dulled by the painful memories that we carry in our hearts. 

I forced myself to decorate my home for Christmas this year. It would have been easy to just close my eyes and let it pass. But, I was compelled and went through the motions of decorating. I put on Christmas Carols, dragged out the  tree, ornaments and poinsettias and something magical occurred. The spirit of Christmas broke through the tears of my loss and revealed himself. With each ornament hung, my heart began to swell with joy. 

This Christmas, I pray that God would breathe new life into our souls. May He reveal, once again, the wonder of this beautiful season, the wonder of His love. 

Merry Christmas !

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives 

I have learned over the last few years that everyone has experienced loss and carries their own kind of grief. It may be the loss of a loved one, a severed relationship, the pain of living with rejection or even physical pain. It’s part of living in this world.

Sadly, we are often unaware of people’s struggles because their pain is hidden behind a facade. We can appear fine on the outside but in reality are broken-hearted.

I once had a friend tell me that after his wife died he did what he thought was acceptable to the church. He attempted to appear faithful and strong when in fact he was understandably devastated inside. 

Why do we feel the need to conceal our deepest pain? Why does strength equate to suppressing emotion? Even “Jesus wept.”

May God give us the courage to live our authentic selves, facing our pain and may He provide people along the way to accompany us on journey.

Living with hope, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

When I think about the things that matter most, my mind is flooded with thoughts of children, grandchildren, my family, friends new and old and my dog, Bailey. The sweet moments, the memories, the hugs and the laughter,  all of this makes life worth living.

And yet, it is too easy to allow the challenges of life to blur our vision, to steal our ability to see clearly, to steal our joy. Life can be very difficult, I know that well, but there is another way.

I pray for each of us during this special season and thereafter that we would have the ability to see the amazing blessings around us. May God give us 20/20 vision and help us to see through His eyes… and may we be thankful. 

Seeing clearly, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

Life is an amazing adventure filled with many twists and turns. Our experiences, the decisions we make and the people we meet all contribute to who we are. 

As a spiritual person, I would add that I believe that we are being released into who we were created to be. We are growing into that person that only a lifetime of learning can bring forth. 

I had a wonderful conversation with someone very close to me, who was questioning some of the decisions I had made in my life. After my husband died, I was forced to make decisions I had never made prior. To the outsider, those decisions may have appeared unwise but to me, they were valuable steps forward.

I am learning to view each new experience as a stepping stone that is contributing to who I am. Each new moment, each interaction with people has brought forth more of my authentic self. 

When I reflect back over my life and ask if there were moments I would like to have responded to differently, the answer is “absolutely.” But, because of those choices, I have grown and been released to be more of who I was created to be. 

I used to look at life as a series of goals to be achieved. Today, I follow my path, learning what I need to learn, embracing the journey along the way, one step at a time. 

Living with contentment,

Carol Marchant Gibbs