Author: Carol Gibbs

As the holidays quickly approach, many of us will attempt to get into better shape in order to prepare for the extra pounds that seem to find us over the season. The holiday celebrations seem to provide an over abundance. We are inundated with excess; too much food, drink, too many gifts and we spend the remainder of the year trying to shed it all. 

This is not the case for many in the world. According to the World Health Organization, 1 out of 11 people are experiencing hunger; 733 million people. In some countries, it is as high as 1 out of 5. Hunger related deaths exceed 9 million people a year, many of which are children under the age of 5. Thirty- five percent of our global population cannot afford a healthy diet because the cost is prohibitive. 

This does not just occur in developing nations. Thirteen and a half percent of households in the United States are experiencing food insecurity.  Their economic and social condition gives them limited or uncertain access to safe and nutritious food. 

But, there is hope…
There is enough food to feed the world if allocated in a balanced way. 

I love to celebrate the holidays. The memories created by gathering around the table with family and friends has had no equal for me.

But, this year… I also want to remember those who are experiencing hunger and food insecurity and do something about it. 

There are many organizations whose primary focus is to address world hunger. There are also local businesses that collect food and distribute it to those in need. 

If each of us do just one thing to help others this season, it can make a world of a difference. 

Thank you for doing your part to live generously. 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

My mother-in-law used to have a profound saying, “Don’t put up your umbrella before it rains.”

If you are a person prone to worry, and I am a mother so I am an expert in that field, this simple statement speaks volumes.

I love deeply and can choose to worry deeply, as well. I can worry about things that potentially might happen, many of which never come to fruition or I can evaluate past experiences, searching for better solutions. What words should I have spoken? What should I have done? Both approaches are quite exhausting and often fruitless. 

It’s funny how the things we can choose to worry about aren’t even a memory for other people. The matter has been resolved in their minds and they’ve moved on. Why can’t I? 

What I am learning is that not everyone is as sensitive as I am. People don’t always respond to experiences the same way and I have a choice as to how I respond. I could continue to belabor present and past challenges or I could accept that my efforts to love people are genuine and I could release the burden of carrying issues. It’s my decision. 

I’ve also learned that I am not in charge of the universe. There are things that only God can do. So, I choose to trust that God sees my heart to love people to the best of my human ability and He is going to do what only He can do to enter into every relationship and guide me through this incredible journey called life. 

Lowering the Umbrella, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs 

Stories Changing Lives

I asked God to tell me what he wants for my life…and this is what I heard:

“Live each day to the fullest.

Savor every sweet moment. 

Be brave in the face of challenge and rise up to meet it with all of your strength.

Love unconditionally, never holding back.

Seek what is best for others.

Always remember…you are deeply loved .

Seek all that I have for you, for my gifts are eternal.”

Live well my friends,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

Life does not always look the way we anticipated it would. We can plan and plan only to arrive at a future that is not what we imagined. In an attempt to recapture our dream, we rush forward, investing all of our efforts into accomplishing that which we believe is the best for us.  A destination is in view and we chase after it with a vengeance. We desire to claim that life we believe should be ours; to be settled, to be content. When that doesn’t happen, we become frustrated and very discouraged. 

Desiring our lives to be tied up in sweet little packages with ribbons fastened securely is not necessarily a bad thing. We all need to have goals… to have hope. But when we rush forward trying to get immediate results, it is like riding a rapidly moving train. The immense speed causes us to fail to take in the beautiful scenery along the way. We miss the growth necessary to receiving all that our destination holds for us; the people and the precious moments with them. 

I confess that I would love for my life to be tied up in sweet little packages with ribbons fastened securely but it’s not. Are there beautiful moments along the journey? Absolutely! There are many, but I have to slow the train down in order to see the incredible view before me.

My prayer for all of us is that we would not miss the best parts of life because we are looking to what is coming up in the distance. I understand completely how difficult it is to be patient but we experience far more of life when we try to live in the moment.

May God give us all that we need to live our present life with hope. 

Living in the moment, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

“Life doesn’t always look the way you think it should but it is beautiful just the same.” God

Stories Changing Lives

Did you ever wake up one morning and wonder how you arrived at your position in life? 

Whether you’re married, single, widowed or divorced, there are times that the life we are living does not reflect what we actually planned or strived for and we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory and very fearful. 

From 870 BC to 810 BC, Elijah was called by God to be a prophet. The people had wandered away from God and were struggling, so out of His love for them, God sent Elijah to woo them back to Him.  

Elijah followed God faithfully and often found himself in dangerous situations. One day, fear overtook him and he chose to run for his life. Elijah hid in a cave on Mt. Horeb, the “Mountain of God.”  It was there that he had a powerful encounter with God. 

“What are you doing here”? God asked him.
Elijah poured out his heart to God, sharing all of his fears and God responded in a powerful way.  

11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. 

Then, a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

(I Kings19:11-13) New International Version

God made His tangible presence known to Elijah. He was at his lowest point and God showed up in a profound way to encourage him to go forward with confidence that God cared and would always be there for him. 

There are many experiences that happen through our life time that can cause us to want to “run”. Sometimes, life feels utterly out of control. Where do you go when your circumstances feel impossible? Do you disconnect from everyone you know and love? Life can be hard, don’t do it alone. Confide in a trusted friend. Allow God to meet you in those moments. Choose to listen for that small whisper. He is waiting for you.

Listening,

Carol Marchant Gibbs 

Stories Changing Lives

Throughout history, the saying, “Waiting for the next shoe to drop,” has often been used in a negative context to express the anticipation of something difficult happening in one’s life.

At times, life can be absolutely excruciating. I have experienced this first hand. My husband of 43 years died in December of 2020. I remember the pain being so debilitating that I was not sure if I would survive and I had no idea how to rise above it. I wanted my life to be whole again but was living in deep grief and expected more hardship to occur. I waited for the “next shoe to drop.“ 

Eventually, I began to realize that it takes time to adjust to loss. I was capable of rising above my grief and there was a healthy way to go forward but I really didn’t know what that involved.  So in an attempt to move from my deeply grieving state, I began to busy myself with all kinds of activities; classes, art, music, exercise, even dating. All were done with the intention of rebuilding my life. Instead of easing the pain, what I created was a life of utter chaos. But, whether I was living in a catatonic state of grief or utter chaos, I was always waiting for the next catastrophe to occur.

Eventually, I began to realize that there were better ways to respond to my grief. I could not move forward until I actually faced the magnitude of my loss and I could not do that alone. I needed my family, friends and my grief counselor to help me to take the necessary steps forward. They had been there every step of the way but I did not know how to receive their help until I got to this point. 

I also found that the God I worshipped most of my life had really not abandoned me as I had believed and I began to seek Him. 

I remember distinctly the day in September 2022 when God got my attention with, “Stop. Stop striving and rest in me.”

I had been working so hard to ease my own pain that I neglected my spiritual healing and only God could do that. I was angry with Him for not healing my husband so I had run away from Him, as well. 

It was when I was ready to receive help that everything began to turn around. I became very intentional about how I spent my time; the people I connected with, the activities I engaged in and my hope began to grow. 

Then, October 2022, six weeks after I heard those words from God, I met a very special man at the gym. His wife had died four months after my husband. The day we met, we spent the evening together sharing about our lives. We had never met prior to that day and were amazed to discover how our lives had overlapped in so many ways. I am very thankful to have him in my life today.

Ironically, it was when I stopped striving that I began to move forward. I try to live in freedom now but sometimes I can have a tendency to wait for that old “shoe to drop.” When that happens, I turn away and try to focus on the good in my life. 

I still grieve the loss of my husband and miss him immensely. The grief that comes from losing someone you love never leaves you. You just learn to live with it. 

I know many of you are in various stages of grief. I offer you this thought,  “Stop striving and rest.” Create space for life to happen and trust that one day you are going to be able to live again. You can do this!! 

Living with hope, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories changing lives!

What a beautiful time of year!! Twinkling lights adorn decorated trees. Music fills the crisp clean air. We make our lists and check them over a million times. Search for the perfect gifts. Packages are wrapped and bowed to perfection. We make our favorite dessert and attend joy-filled parties. All of this reminds us of the wonderful season and the people we love.

But for many, this time of year conjures up something different…loneliness and grief. All of the beauty of the season becomes a stark reminder of that which has been lost. Surrounded by loved ones celebrating, you can feel completely alone. Laughter cuts through your heart like a knife. You attempt to connect with others but are unsuccessful because the pain forces you to disengage.

My friends, this season, be extra aware of the people around you who are struggling. Grief is a powerful force that is difficult to manage. Take time to connect with those who have lost and listen to them share their heart. Life will not be that way forever for them and they need you. They need hope. You may just be the one person responsible for encouraging them forward in their journey. 

Jesus came to heal us of our brokenness. That includes our broken hearts. Be Jesus this season!!

Have a blessed holiday, 

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

I stand before the manger in awe of

his presence. 

A young babe rests; so innocent, so vulnerable. 

I am moved by the power of his being. 

Is he the One who has come to change the world; to bring peace, to bring hope?

His smile answers my every question and

I am filled with incredible joy.

Come, Lord Jesus, once again. 

My dear friends,

May you too be captured by the beauty of the season. Christmas blessings!

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

I have learned over my lifetime that life is not for the faint of heart. Though I am very thankful for my blessings, I can find myself making a list of questions to ask God about the difficulties of this life. Shouldn’t parents die before their children? Why does it seem that the good die too young when the wretched seem to continue to live on to an old age? Why do some really wonderful people suffer so much loss during their lifetime? My list could go on and on. 

When my husband died after 43 years of marriage, I was lost. The love that my children, grandchildren and others poured out on me could not penetrate my broken heart. I was numb and incapable of receiving it. 

After eight months passed, I connected with a group of people that had experienced that very same loss. I immediately found myself surrounded by widows and widowers. We were all there because of our incredible loss. From my time with these wonderful people, I began to understand for the first time how people experience grief differently. Some hibernate, some are ready to fight with the world, some cry constantly, some take on immense home projects, some self-medicate, and some go on a search for another to fill their void. All are trying to survive the excruciating pain that comes from losing a spouse.

One widow from the group, in particular, captured my heart  at our first meeting. Lou had experienced the tragic loss of two husbands; one when she was very young, age 27, and the other after 30 years of marriage to a man that she adored. When I met Lou, she was absolutely furious! She explained to me that after being raised in a faith, the losing of her two husbands caused her to no longer believe in God. She talked about how God had deserted her and hurt her deeply and she wanted nothing to do with Him. 

I listened carefully to her words, then responded.

“It sounds like you believe in God, you’re just angry for what He has allowed in your life.”

Since that conversation, I have watched her seek to rekindle her relationship with God and her grief looks different. She is more at peace.

We each have our own way of surviving grief. I felt very much like God had abandoned me. I prayed for the healing of my husband for five years but God had a different vision for his life. 

For a time, I too wanted to run from God. He had really fallen short in my life by allowing me such loss, such pain. Then, one day, I realized, where else would I go? Who else could heal my broken heart? 

Grief never completely leaves you. You just learn to live with it. For the longest time, all I could remember about my husband was the last year of his life when he was sick. I prayed for God to restore the wonderful memories we shared over our life together and He did. I cherish those times.

I know many of you are suffering from the pain of loss and may be very disappointed in God. My prayer is that one day you would allow Him to bring restoration and healing to your life. He really does love you.
Where else would you go? 

Living with hope,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives

Norma Mclnerny, in her podcast, “Terrible, Thanks for Asking”, shares her story about the significant losses in her life at age thirty-one. In a short period of time, she lost her baby, her father and six weeks later, her husband. Nora was devastated.

People tried to encourage her with empty phrases such as, “You are still young and beautiful and will find someone else,” but it really wasn’t helpful.

Nora did fall in love again. What she found was falling in love was easy for her but finding another person didn’t take her grief away. Her grief just slid over to make room for another love and that made her feel uncomfortable. She feared the judgement of others but mostly the judgement she placed upon herself. If she was happy, she was not sad anymore so she must not have really loved her former husband. 

Well-meaning friends commented, that she must be okay now that she has a new husband. She explained that falling in love with another did not mean she had fallen out of love with her deceased husband. Nora found that it was possible to hold two things at once; grief for the lost and joy for the new love in her life. 

I have experienced first hand that it is possible to hold two things at once; new love for another and grief for the love that was lost. 

Love for another really does not eliminate the love you have for the one who has died. In fact, I have found that the closer I grow to my new love, the more I remember my late husband and miss his presence in my life.

A very wise man told me, in response to my question of how can I fall in love with another and increasingly miss my late husband, that it made perfect sense to him. 

“Love and grief come from the same place in the heart.”

 I am thankful to my late husband for the many ways he expressed love to me. His love has made it possible for me to love again. And my new love…I am thankful for how he has given me hope for my future.

Living with hope,

Carol Marchant Gibbs

Stories Changing Lives