Hope is an unseen force that has immense power over the human heart. Without it, we are lost and fail to see the joys around us.
When my husband died, almost nine months ago, my world became exceedingly dark. I only went through the motions of life not really allowing the goodness to penetrate my broken heart.
As I took positive steps forward to embrace the new life that I was given, the veil of darkness began to lift and I was able to feel again. Each step gave me hope for my future.
I remember, after spending time with my grandchildren a few weeks ago, feeling so filled up with love…feeling completely loved. Despite my family’s efforts, I had not been able to feel that in a very long time. As I explained what I was experiencing to my daughter-in-law, she responded with, “And, we feel that same love after you have been here.” (Yes, she is amazing and I love her with my whole heart.) It’s moments like this, that give hope that life is going to be okay.
But, “the tigers,” do continue to “come at night”, as it says in one of my favorite musicals, Les Miserables. Our steps forward are not always filled with the joys like I receive when I’m with my family. People do not always understand the depth of my grief and have expectations to which I am completely incapable of responding. That is difficult for me and I can feel like I have failed.
Thankfully, my dear friend, Grace, who is also a widow, explained to me. “You are not a failure. Life has failed you” (by taking away your husband). “You are going to be okay. It just takes time.”
I know that many of you are trying to come to terms with your new life, as well. It’s not what we would have chosen but we press on because there is still goodness in life. We just need to keep looking for it.
What new steps forward do you need to take today? May God direct your path and give you the courage to move forward.
Together in the search,
Carol Marchant Gibbs
Stories Changing Lives