When you are struggling to make sense of your life, you spend time with those who have walked a similar path before you.
I had lunch with an old friend this week who had lost his wife nine years ago. I really respected him and trusted that he would speak wisdom into my life about surviving the process of grief.
I came prepared for our time with a whole list of questions which he kindly and honestly answered. When I was finished with my interrogation, he asked me one question that blew me away.
“Whose life are you living?”
Was I attempting to live the same life that I lived when Jim was alive? My life was different now. Trying to live that very same life would only be met by a deep void of Jim’s loss. I thought about the many hours that I sat silently waiting to awaken from my nightmare expecting him to walk into the room. That was never going to happen. Now what?
The thought of moving forward alone and building a new life meant that he was never going to return but in order to move forward, I had to begin the journey.
My grown children had been trying to tell me this for weeks and I did start to take baby steps forward but that one question really spoke to my heart. I needed to begin to live my life even though it was not what I expected it would be and was filled with so many unknowns.
I began to examine my life and ask myself what I most enjoy doing. What had I never done before that I would like to try? Hope began to rise up inside me. So, here I go…
Whose life are you living? Be courageous! Just take one step forward. You are going to be okay and so am I.
Together in the journey,
Carol Marchant Gibbs
Stories changing lives!