“It comes to us as a revelation at first— an astonishment— almost an occasion of guilt. We can be happy!”
“Maybe we thought it would not happen, that our life would be forever colored with pain, that no moment would be free if it…”
“One of the things we sometimes fear, needlessly, is that having lost a loved one, we will also lose the memory of them. “
Healing After Loss, by Martha Whitmore Hickman
My husband has been gone for two and a half months now. I remember feeling numb after the long painful illness came to an end. The many years of memories before he became sick were overshadowed by the trauma and I could barely remember our life beforehand.
In search of memories, my children started going through the old photo albums that were packed in dusty boxes in the basement. My husband and I had planned to get the photos digitized but the project was never started.
A few weeks later, my desire to regain my memory of him compelled me to begin the long awaited project. I bought a scanner, and my sister and I removed every photo from the 30+ albums. We scanned them and I saved a few precious ones for new albums that are now sitting on bookshelves in my living room. Though many tears were shed during the process, history was recaptured for me. I am so thankful for that.
We cannot run from grief. I have found that facing it head on has helped me to adjust to my new life. Tears still flow often but I find comfort in reaching out to those that share my grief and long to remember, as well.
In community,
Carol Marchant Gibbs
Stories Changing Lives!